A Near Death Experience

Recently a chopper carrying five ONGC Employees and two pilots crashed into Arabian Sea on their way to Bombay High. My Dad worked there for seven years, and he worked closely with two of these DGM's. Of course, he was in a deep shock when he heard the news even though he retired four years ago. My Mom was really sad for their families, she said- 'When your Dad left for work every day, I didn't know if he'd come back in the evening.'

During his career at ONGC, my Dad lost quite a few of his co-workers in such accidents. He also experienced death extremely closely many times during his 37 years of career at ONGC. Once, the chopper he was riding on almost crashed during landing. In another incident, he was almost electrocuted to a super-high voltage cable.

We take life for granted until we witness death so closely. I've had such near death experience when I was studying at Akhandand Ayurved College in Lal Darwaja, Amdavad. I used to ride a TVS scooty to college. I had a classmate who lived in Vadaj, which was on my way to home. Every day he used to ask me to give him a ride, and every day I bluntly said no to him. It's not like he was hitting on me or anything, he was a decent guy. He was just too lazy to walk to the bus stand and wait for the bus. But I didn't want to give him a ride because during those days, I was a hard core Amdavadi, who didn't do anything for anyone without a reason.

One day, after the class, he asked me for the ride again. I said no, he urged a little more and persisted for some time as usual. I was about to say no again, but I heard this inner voice in my heart that told me- It's OK, give him a ride today. For the first time, I said- Fine.

I was driving the scooty and he was sitting behind me. I was going in full speed. Right when we reached the Vadaj bus stand, the back wheel of my scooty choked. It suddenly stopped spinning and my scooty got out of control with a loud squeaky noise.

I couldn't understand what just happened. The car behind me stopped with a sharp brake just a few inches close to my scooty. But the two cars behind that car couldn't stop and banged in to each other. Luckily, nobody got hurt.

I had lost the control over the scooty the moment the wheel stopped spinning. The only reason the scooty and I were not flown away on the road was the heavy weight I was carrying on the back of the scooty, my classmate. Otherwise, the light weight scooty and even lighter weight me would have been crushed under the car.

My classmate dragged the scooty on the side of the road. A banana hawker on the street told us that the day before, a similar kind of accident had occurred, and a father and a son riding on a bike were crushed at this very spot. Both of them died on the spot.

This incident got me thinking if everything is written or everything depends on our actions.

These are the two predominant beliefs among people. One, everything is written and it is already decided what would happen, when and how it would happen. Two, nothing is written, whatever happens in our life is the consequence of our own actions.

There are books like 'The monk who sold his Ferrari' and 'The Secret' that keep telling you one thing that you should build the life you want in your mind and it will happen in real life. You should keep picturing in your mind that you have got the things you want, and one day you will get them. Always think positive.

As much as I want to believe in this theory, it always seemed flawed to me. Moreover, these books are only taking your ambitions as high as getting rich or famous and having a perfect life partner.

So many times I wanted something so badly, all my actions were directed toward that aim and all I could think about is that thing, but I didn't get it in the end. On the other hand, sometimes I would get something really great unexpectedly that I never thought of and never desired for.

I believe there are certain things that are written, but there are things that you can build on your own. I believe it is decided what experiences you would encounter, when, how and where these incidents will take place, which people you would meet on your way, what would be the role of those people in your life, all of that is written. The things that are not in your control are written, but your actions are not pre-decided, and your reactions to these things that are happening to you are not decided.

Your days are numbered, but how you would use these days are up to you. Bad experiences are bound to happen, but how you would make the most out of these experiences is totally up to you. Your response to these experiences is the only thing that tells you apart from the rest of the world. Many brown and black people must have been thrown out of a train, but it was Gandhi who decided to take this experience as a catalyst to change the destiny of an entire nation and make it the biggest democracy of the world.

Life is a series of the choices you make.

Every experience, every person, every day - come to your life to teach you something and to take you forward. All we need to do is to have an open mind. A mind that is open to learn, move forward and let go.