Perception Vs. Perspective
Before I moved to America in 2008, I lived in a highly-protected bubble that my parents had created for me. In this bubble, I never had to deal with any hardships of life. So, I had a perception that life is fair. If you give 100% to life, life would give you 100% back. Then I spent one week without my protective parents in America and reality hit me hard right in my face.
Right after I landed in America, I started looking for a job. My first week in America, my roommate took me to the University gym as she wanted to get the membership at this gym. I went with her just to keep her company. When she was talking to the girl at the front desk, I was reading all the posters and brochures posted on the wall. One of them had a schedule of Yoga classes. After my friend finished her inquiry, I asked the receptionist, just shooting in the dark - Do you have a job opening for a Yoga instructor?
Long story short, after explaining my background in Ayurveda to the manager of the gym, after showing my undergrad transcript to her, and after an hour-long Yoga session with the gym members, I was offered the position of Yoga instructor at this gym. The salary that was offered to me was more than twice the salary of most on-campus jobs.
I was very happy that I had landed such a high paying on-campus job in the first week itself, when there were other students who had been struggling to find a minimum wage job during this recession. I was grateful to my unique skillset that none of my competitors possessed.
At the time of joining, the manager asked me for my social security number. I told her- ‘I am an international student and I need to apply for the social security number based on the employment letter I get from you.’
She immediately let out a sigh – ‘Oh! You're an international student.’
I tried to reverse her disappointment- ‘Yes, but I am legally allowed to work 20 hours a week on campus.’
She said- ‘Yes, I know that, but this gym is not a University property. Even though it is located on the University campus, it is owned by a private company, and we are not allowed to hire international students. I am sorry. We can't go ahead with this offer.’
I left her office feeling betrayed, not by that manager, not by the University, but by life. How could this happen to me? I had done everything right! My Dad had taught me that if you failed, there is only one reason for it- you didn't work hard enough. Period. It took me a long time to wrap my head around this situation. It had attacked my entire belief system.
When I fail, I make a list of the reasons why I failed. What is it that I could have done to prevent this failure, and accordingly improve myself for better outcomes next time. In this case, there is absolutely nothing that I could do to reverse this failure, and it dawned on me that life doesn't assure you anything. Sometimes you fail even after giving your best. At that time, the famous life lesson from the Geeta seemed perfectly appropriate for my situation. You have a right to karma, but not to its fruit. Imagine if your employer told you this- ‘You have a right to work here, but not to the salary.’ - Not even one person would show up to work.
I almost wanted to give up at this moment. If I am not assured a return of investment of my time and efforts, why should I work? I didn’t even want to try anymore, but I kept trying against my will. This time, I tried not because I wanted success, but to have that satisfaction that even if I failed, I’d be content that I tried my best and I will not have any regret.
This one incident made me a completely different person. All the perceptions I had about life were shattered, and I got a new perspective. The difference between a perception and a perspective is that a perception is a limited vision that your mind allows you to see. A perspective is a much broader vision that you get to see only after a careful examination of the entire situation. A perspective is nothing but a 360-degree vision.
This incident helped me understand that everything in life is not so black and white. Most of the things fall in the grey area. What you see is usually not the full picture. There is always a blind spot in every situation, which you proactively need to look for. After this incident, I started making a list of all the things that can go wrong when I am embarking upon a new adventure. I started believing in Murphy's Law - If something can go wrong, it will. I always have equally good plans B, C and D ready even when the probability of favorable outcomes of plan A is very high.
Now I am better prepared for the unexpected roadblocks. I am no longer a naïvely optimistic, fresh off the boat person, who oversimplified life. A similar incident happened with me again a year later when I got a job in the University bookstore, but it took too long for my SSN to arrive, so I lost that job too. I did finally get an on-campus job as an instructor but after a really long wait. By this time, I had become viciously pessimistic. One thing this incident taught me is that you don’t get everything you deserve in life. There are universal factors other than hard-work that affect the outcome, and they are completely out of my control.
After these back to back disappointments, I accepted the fact that my journey in America was not going to be easy, and I bet there is not even one person who came to America as a student can say that their journey was easy. I know people who have struggled much more than what I’ve been through, but they didn’t give up. Living in India, we only look at their rich and successful life, but we don’t know how much they struggled to get there. Every Indian who lives in America has a very inspiring life story. They are the real fighters.
My story does have a happy ending. After three years of fruitless efforts, I got a job in another University, where I got to teach Yoga to another class with a much higher pay. This shows that nothing great was ever achieved without a few roadblocks.
That’s when I got the ultimate perspective that failure is nothing but delayed success if you don’t give up.
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