Parents Vs Kids

The board exam fever is upon us. I remember how intense it used to be when I was younger. I don't know how crazy it is these days in India. Indian parents are obsessive about making their kids study. And I admit that at least in my case, if my parents didn't push me so much, I would not have studied so much and I am really grateful to them for doing so. But still Indian parents overdo it some times. 

I remember when I was in high-school, in science stream, one of my old friends from middle school came up with this great idea to start a band. He was in 12th grade that year but he cared least about that. He was an incredible singer, so was my sister. And I used to play the keyboard. He said he has some other people in his mind who can do other things on the band and if everything goes well, we will play professionally at the next Navratri. I was really excited about the idea. We asked our parents and they agreed. My sister and I were always involved in a lot of extra-curricular activities in school but it never affected our grades. In fact, I think we did better academically because of those extra-curricular activities.

We had a long discussion about what to name our band and finally we decided to go with "Taal".  That year, we went to different places to perform during Navratri and we got tremendous response. Everyone in our band was a teenager and looked younger than their age. People used to get amazed to see a bunch of kids play and sing. The most amazing experience was in Gandhinagar Sector 16 (if I correctly remember the sector number) where the biggest garba of the city take place. To see thousands of people dancing on your tune was an out of the world experience.

One day, during Navratri,  my Dad came home after work and told us- something amazing happened at work today.

He said- Today one of my co-workers told me that yesterday there was a band of kids came to their society to play and the girl who was playing the keyboard was so amazing. She wouldn't even look at the keyboard, and she was talking to other people while playing and still she didn't even miss a note.

My dad knew where he lived and he also knew where we played last night. He told him: "That's my daughter."- His co-worker's mouth fell open. "..and the lead female singer is also my daughter. "- My Dad added.

After my Dad finished his story he said- "I felt so proud when he told me about this incident. " - I want to say one thing to all the kids reading this- this was the time when I realized that nothing makes you happier than making your parents proud of you.

My sister and I resigned from the band the following year because both of us were in 10th and 12th grade respectively. My friend who started the band found other people and kept it going. He was always an average student but today he runs one of the most successful orchestra in Amdavad because his parents trusted him and let him choose his career. Imagine if Lata Mangeshkar's parents forced her to be a doctor or Sachin's parents stopped him from playing Cricket and forced him to study?

The second reason to share this story (The first being to brag a little about myself!) is to make all parents see that being a doctor or engineer is not the only way your kids could make you feel proud. Let them choose their career and guide them to make the right decision about their career. But don't impose it on them. I know if we wanted to take music as career, my parents would have supported us. But it was just a hobby.  

So be supportive to your kids and let them know that you understand that board exam is not the end of the world and let them enjoy their vacation. When the results are announced, don't give them more importance than they require. It is just a board exam. Think about all those people who did average on their board exams but still succeeded in their career.