Mars And Venus

99% of the problems in the world are caused by men. Wars, violence, rapes, corruption, pollution, global warming. It's just a simple fact. The other 1% is caused by natural calamities. Imagine being a woman in such a world. Imagine being an animal or a bird or a tree in this world. Imagine being a child in this world. 

I want to focus on a specific area where men are wreaking a havoc. Women, listen up. 

In India, women grow up loving the idea of love, marriage, family, and kids. Even the career-oriented women, smart women, romanticize the idea of love and a perfect partner. Now, we also have feminism. Earlier, women believed in one true love. Now, thanks to feminism, women have the freedom to change their romantic partners if things don't work out. 

However, there's a very sneaky thing men are doing with feminism that is secretly hurting women as much as misogyny did, if not more. Men are now popularizing the idea of a pseudo feminism, where they encourage women to do more. Work more. Make more money. Have more partners. But eventually, women still end up being exploited. 

Let me tell you how. These days, the GenZ and even the Millennials, most men don't want to get married. At least, this is the trend I've seen in the metro cities. Modern men don't want to get married. I can't blame them because I agree with them. However, majority of women still want to get married. Despite being career-oriented and smart. I don't blame them either. Now, there's a huge disparity in men and women when it comes to marriage. However, men still want to have sex. 

In my generation, the only way you could have sex is through marriage. For a man and a woman. So men didn't have this freedom to refuse to marry. If you want sex, you have to get married. Now marriage is not a prerequisite for sex which is a good thing for women as well. However, most women want to have a stable, committed, exclusive relationship. While most men want to have casual sex with no strings attached.

My intention is to warn the young women from falling prey to the manipulative game that men are playing with them.

Men often sugarcoat their vicious mindset. They'd tell you, I don't like to be limited by anyone. I don't want to be answerable to anyone. I like my freedom. Go with the flow. Take one day at a time. You can't have a contract that I had sex with you today so I have to be nice to you tomorrow. I'll see how I feel about you tomorrow. 

You might say, Ashwini, this doesn't sound like sugarcoating, it's pretty blunt. I'll tell you what they're trying to say bluntly. The subtext of these statements is - I want to have sex with you with zero accountability. Absolutely zero accountability so much so that they want the freedom to not call you ever again or the freedom to hook up with another woman the very next day. 

If you try to assert your worldviews of a stable, committed, exclusive relationship, they'd call you closed minded and socially conditioned. They'd try to convince you that your beliefs are anti-feministic. You're still a slave to patriarchy. You should freely have sex with as many men as you want without any strings attached to prove your equality in the society. 

This is why I never limit myself to one label. I don't call myself a feminist because once you start to project yourself as a feminist, you feel obligated to do everything that the world tells you a feminist should do. Men present the distorted image of feminism to you and gullible women fall prey to it. 

Wake up and smell their shit. If you also want casual sex, go for it, girl. No judgements whatsoever. Just make sure you have absolute clarity of thought and your judgement is not influenced by a man. But if you don't want to have casual sex, then remember three things. One, don't fall for their bullshit about feminism. Two, don't settle for anything less than you deserve. Lastly, never ever think that you can change a man. Never ever think that you're different than the other women in his life. Never ever fool yourself in thinking that he'd fall in love with you, like Raj fell in love with Simran, or like Bunny fell in love with Naina. It does not happen in real life. Do not let Bollywood brainwash you into a dumb blonde. 

If you're still not convinced with what I said, please watch this video before leaving. 

#Don'tBeAPhoebe