Do You Understand?

America, being one of the biggest superpowers of the world, has many problems that they haven't been able to fix. Gun violence being one of them. Imagine living in a country where you could be walking on the street amongst strangers who could be carrying a gun. You have no idea how their mental health is, what's going on in their mind. You're at school, at a mall, at a game, at a party. There's always fear at the back of your mind that someone here might be carrying a gun and could open fire. 

In India, we don't have this problem. We are very different than Americans. Most Indians live free from the fear of getting gunned down on a normal day. Right? Wrong. I'll tell you the fear every woman of this country live in. All the time, everywhere. 

For us, there is no fear that the man next to us "could" be carrying a gun. The fear is that we "know" he is carrying a gun, fully loaded, and he is fully capable to unload that gun on us given the opportunity. Try living in this fear perpetually. Just imagine for a minute. 

At a hospital, at school, on the street, at home. We are not safe anywhere. Imagine living in a world where no place is safe for you. The only reason you are safe is odds. You haven't been in a wrong place at a wrong time. And almost every place is a wrong place and almost every time is a wrong time. 

I watched a video on Nat Geo as a kid. A cheetah chases a herd of deer. Hundreds of deer. There are a couple of deer who are lagging behind just by a foot or two. And I am watching with my breath in my throat, praying that these deer would catch up. The cheetah targets one of the deer who is lagging behind just by a foot, a younger deer, a weaker deer, and pounces on it. 

That's how I feel. We, women, in this country are like a herd of deer. Whenever one of us lags behind a little bit and misjudges how evil a man can get given an opportunity, she gets hunted by the predator. And it's only a matter of time when I could be that woman, or you could be that woman. 

And for us, it's not only one cheetah that's chasing us. We are surrounded by hyenas and hounds. We live amongst them.  

This is how I feel in this country. There is always a fear of being hunted down at the back of my mind. Always. It is a perpetual survival mode. Like a deer in the jungle is always aware that the predators might attack any time, an Indian woman is always aware that she is always surrounded by predators and they're only looking for one chink in the rather flimsy armor. 

Indian men, I am talking to you. Can you imagine living in a world like this? We, women, still pretend like we are okay. We are not scared. We trust you. Because #notallmen. I swear to God, if any man gives me a lecture about #notallmen after reading this article..

You have no right to get offended when a woman looks at you suspiciously. For us, you're a man who is carrying a gun and can unload it anytime given the opportunity. You have no right to defend your integrity when a woman doesn't give you the benefit of the doubt. Just get used to it. 

Every rape and murder incident breaks every woman from within. We are all broken inside. Men have no idea the toll it takes on women when we hear such news. On top of that, imagine being a woman who is a mother of a girl. These women are not only scared for their own safety but also their daughter's safety. Every mother lives in fear from morning to evening until her daughter gets home safe.

This is a men's problem and clearly they have not been doing anything concrete about it. If you really want to do something for us women, you should voluntarily accept rules like curfew and regular mental checkups, regardless of your age, education, social status, and intentions. Every time a woman gets raped, every man should feel ashamed that one of them did it again. Every man should make atonement for the rapist's sins by reflecting upon their own behavior with the women in their lives. 

We talk about beating racism. Not all Muslims are terrorists, not all black people are criminals. But I am a pure sexist. I openly say that I am sexist. I can't say that not all men are rapists. No matter who you are, I have imagined you as a predator if you're a man, because I know your eyes have lingered on women's body, you have imagined women naked, you have imagined her in a sexual act with you, you tell each other dirty filthy jokes involving women, you watch porn, you constantly live with a sense of entitlement and you live for your need for power, dominance and control.