The Tale Of Two Cities

This story didn''t take place in Amdavad, but it is still a story of an Amdavadi, me.

I was very depressed when I visited Bhavnagar for the first time and saw my college. I had such great expectations from my college after visiting the Amdavad colleges like L.D. Engineering. But when I actually saw my college I felt as if I had travelled back 100 years in time and landed in the most backward place on Earth. I used to think that Amdavad is the most advanced place and the rest of Gujarat is just villages.

I saw my classmates and they looked very rustic to me. Their kathiawadi accent made them sound even more stupid. (Please don't kill me, the story gets better and later I fell in love with that accent and I think Bhavnagari people are the best people in the world and I really mean it.) I remember after I started attending the classes, our seniors came to our class one day and started ragging us. Their definition of ragging was very innocent compared to some other places in India. They would just make everyone stand up and make them introduce themselves, and then they would ask them to either sing a song or tell a joke or a shayari and then at the end they would ask a question that the junior has to answer.

When it was my turn, one of the senior students asked me- so what do you think about your classmates? - and now when I think back about the answer I gave them, I shake my head in disapproval thinking I used to be such a nasty girl back in college.

I replied saying- I had very high expectations from my college and my classmates. I thought they would be very intelligent but after I met all of them, I don't think even half of them are as intelligent.

The whole class fell into silence. That senior was shocked by my answer. All he could do was to move on to the next student. From that moment, my long battle of hatred began. I hated my classmates and they hated me.

They would tease me in the hallway chanting this nasty proverb of kathiawad- Amdavadi haramjadi, baydi vechi ne badam khadhi. (Meaning- Amdavadis are such bastards that they would sell their wife for some almonds.) I used to get furious at their comments and snap back. And then came a point when they officially boycotted me and my only friend and no one would talk to us in the class. I was tired of this friction.

At one point, I started being friendly to everyone in the class. I confronted them and started to make conversation with them. I tried to be as nice to them as I could. I had realized that they were not backward, they were just different and it was very inappropriate for me to say those things about them. They would criticize me sometimes for my past behavior, but I would just swallow it because I knew I was wrong. Gradually they all became my friends. We had a group of about sixteen friends and all of us used to hang out together, go to picnics and restaurants.

All of them treated me normally except this one boy who was always mean to me no matter how nicely I behaved with him. He would always suspect everything I say and do. If I say- Hi, how are you? - to him, He would think there is something I am trying to play in that too. I tried hard to make my image a little better in his eyes but he was still the same.

One day, my patience ran out. I was very mad and I asked him- Why do you always doubt my intentions?

And he said the most offensive thing I have ever heard about me, and yet I didn't feel offended at all, instead I was amazed by his sheer honesty and transparency.

I was looking at him waiting for his explanation, determined to know why he is always mean to me and he said very calmly- Because I don't trust two kinds of people. 1. Amdavadis and 2. Girls, and guess what, you are both.

I was speechless after that. Maybe he had some bad experience in the past from these two groups or he was just prejudiced. I didn't force him to be nice with me anymore. I just let him be. I would still make sure that I am nice to him.

Gradually he started getting softer towards me as maybe he started noticing the good qualities in me. He put aside his stereotypes and let his mind be impartial and unprejudiced. By the time we finished college, we had become good friends. I learned one thing about friendship that it is much better to make friends with a person who is ruthlessly honest with you than the ones who manipulate their thoughts, words and actions.

The main point of this story is we all have stereotypes for certain race, gender, nationalities and so on. Especially in India, people are always trying to make more divisions and increase the distance between two groups. However, if we can learn to put aside those stereotypes and see the person as human being without any tags, the world would be a much better place to live.