The Bhateriya Family

Today I am going to put aside all my humbleness and brag about my family a lot. I am aware that it can get really annoying when someone just goes on and on about how great his/her family is. So I won't feel bad if you stopped reading from this point onward.

I come from a family of weavers. My great-grandfather used to work as a laborer in the farms of a village in Kheda. But he was a visionary. He had ambitions to buy a farm of his own. He worked very hard to fulfill this dream.

He had decided that he would send all of his sons to study in M.S. University and make them teachers. This was 90 years ago. It's like me aiming (and one of the few things my husband and I agree on) to make my daughter an astronaut and send her to space. But he did fulfill his dreams. He did send his kids to study in M.S. University in Baroda during Sayaji Rao Gaikwad's rein. His sons became teachers.

When he went to decide on my grandfather's engagement, he told my grandmother's father- "Send the girl to school."- So my grandmother also went to school because my great-grandfather wanted to have educated women in the house.

Eventually, he did buy a farm among the big farm owners' land. They were not happy with the fact that a mere laborer had bought a farm next to them; but my great-grandfather didn't care. He also got bullocks and buffaloes. Having a bullock cart at that time was like having a BMW today. Before he passed away, he left a big house for each of his three sons.

He never asked for any help from his sons. The same with my grandfather. I have heard a lot of stories of how he helped his sons financially and otherwise. His sons never had to support him financially. Even my grandmother, after my grandfather passed away, is independent in her own finances. She doesn't have to rely on her sons. Self-sufficiency is the core quality of our family.

My grandfather was also very ambitious and he had bigger dreams than his father. My grandfather used to work as a teacher, work in the farm and make cloth when at home. He also had big dreams for his kids. He used to say- " The daughters-in-law of our family must be graduate. (Vahuo to graduate j lavavani.)" - He never cared about dowry. He never accepted any dowry. But he used to make sure that the girl is at least a graduate from college.

When he went to meet my maternal grandfather (my Mom's father) for the engagement of my father and mother, my Mom's father said- "My daughter is in the first year of college. If you promise that you'd let her finish her college only then I would give you my daughter." Of course, that's exactly what my grandfather wanted as well.

My Mom was the first female graduate in her village. Most of the daughters-in-law in my family finished their college and pursued post-graduate education after they got married. Some of them even went to live in the hostel for that. I think my family is the only place I have seen where the daughters-in-law are respected as much as the sons-in-law.

All the five sons of my grandfather moved to Amdavad and got great jobs. My Dad used to tell us about his college days in Amdavad. Him and his older brother had only two shirts in total. They used to wash them every evening and wear them alternatively. This is how they got education.

When I used to hear these stories, I used to get really amazed and inspired, and then I used to think- "I won't have such stories to tell my kids because I never had to face such adversities."- But as they say- "Be careful what you wish for."- I had to face similar adversities when I came to America. Now I have a plenty of stories to tell my daughter. I got it covered !

My grandfather said this many decades ago - "There will come a day when people will get happier to have a daughter than a son." - I don't know about others but I am really happy that I have a girl, not a boy. Daughters and daughters-in-law are very respected in our family.

When my Dad decided to send me to America for further studies, a lot of people told him- "Why spend so much money on a daughter? " - But he didn't listen to them. I was also the first daughter of the family who went to live in a hostel for college. Even then a lot of people said- "Don't send this young girl to a hostel to live by herself." - But he did.


There are a lot of other people in my family who can give more interesting details about my family background. This is just a humble effort from me dedicated to my entire family.

The amazing thing is, today the great-granddaughter of that laborer is a manager in an American hospital; because he had laid a foundation stone four generations back. He had a vision. And it's not just me, all his great-grandchildren are successful in their respective careers and life. We are all aware of the fact that our success is not ours. It's the abstract of the hard-work of the men and women of our family for four generations.