When You Feel Undervalued..

 (Originally posted on LinkedIn Pulse)

"I do so much for him/her but he/she does not value or appreciate it." - At first, this may sound like a over-the-top whining from a hungry-for-praise person. However, if you continuously find yourself unappreciated or undervalued for your contributions, as a human being, you are bound to feel this way, sooner or later, unless you are a saint.

The best approach to avoid such emotional mess, is to follow what the Bhagwad Geeta says: "Act and don't expect any reward for your actions." One may try to follow this advice and it helps to reduce the expectations from others. However, not all of us can follow this advice for a long time.

So, the second best approach is to analyze. You are talking about a two-way-street here. If you want to feel appreciated, then the other person also wants to feel appreciated. You may think- "I do everything so efficiently and still I do not get enough recognition from my boss." Your boss might be feeling the same way by thinking- "I gave her/him a big raise last year so that she/he can feel motivated, and still she/he didn't appreciate my gesture and hasn't improved a bit."

Who to blame? This happens in every relationship- personal and professional. If the people on the both sides understand that you have to be the change you want to see in the world, this clash of emotions can be avoided.

Here are the simple tips to resolve this friction.
 
1. Appreciate, and get appreciated.

2. Do not expect to get appreciated or complimented for the things that you can't perform. (i.e.- if you can't do roller-skating, don't expect anyone to praise you for your roller-skating talent.)

3. Do not get full of yourself when someone does appreciate you. Appreciation is the best way to motivate others to perform better, but some people think appreciation means they are flawless, and they can't get any better.

4. Try to find joy in what you do, instead of doing something just because you want people to appreciate you.

At the end, it's you who is suffering by feeling undervalued. You can't make people understand your value, but you can change the way you feel about it by changing your outlook.